I search the crowded bus for the schoolgirl
People shoulder to shoulder
Most soaked through from the teeming rain outside
I want to catch her before that moment
On that curve in the road just after the university
In that jolt that brings the first unwanted contact
That she questioned but dismissed
Nevertheless, her body tensed
As the rain outside became drizzle
Mirroring the steamy windows that entomb the travellers
Her unease had quickened with every turn
She feels the warmth of his thigh against hers – too close
She tells herself it is the normal contact of passengers sharing a seat.
She imagines his face as he unfolds the broadsheet
A purposeful manoeuvre
I reach through and hold her for a second, but she doesn’t know it
I want to take her away to this space on the same bus in a different time
To the distancing and face coverings
His hand would not reach her here
But I am afraid that she will sense the burdens
The consultant who will abuse her
The mugger on the train, the stalker on another
The multiple sinister steps behind her in the dark
The incessant catcalling
The threats
The flashers
The carrying on when she thought she’d said no
The never-ending violence of it
The unjust fear
I want to load her up with power not foreboding
And so I leave me there on that bus
As it made that turn and his hand groped around under the newspaper
Because her rebuke was good enough
And the little bit of control that she grasped
Amongst the chaos of distress in her young body
Would serve her well.